Do You Ever Wonder...

Do you ever get totally overwhelmed with life? Maybe you get physically exhausted from all the work you do, all the people you must please, all the responsibilities you are trying to accomplish. Or maybe you just get frustrated with the world. World weariness, I call it. It's that nagging little feeling deep within the caverns of your soul that tell you this world is not your home. Maybe it is lonesomeness, that soft, quiet whisper in your heart that longs for people who just understand you. Perhaps, it seems like you just can't get it together. That there are holes in your life and gushing out faster than you can handle, goes the very oxygen of your world.

I don't know how Paul did it. He faced so much more in his life than I ever have, but he remained strong and hopeful of what is to come.

"We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food." 2 Corinthians 6:5 

Yet, he was still able to say,

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

I had a thought hit me the other day. What if what we call "life" is really death? And what we call "death" is merely the gateway into life? We get so caught up with busyness and working and thinking about preserving our age, but what if we are missing the bigger picture? What if all this messy and frustrating exisitance is simply our endurance through death? And then, when we cast off these mortal clothes, what if then, and only then, will we truly begin living? Eternity will consume our earthly years; I know when we get to Heaven nothing that happened in this life will bother us again: the long, exhausting work days, the bitterness, the hurtful things people have told you, the backaches, the nightly sighs, the stub toes, the broken families, the lost friends, misquotes, failed classes, sleepless nights, and all the other plights of this life will not be remembered! If this life is death, and in death we have but only to look forward to true life, that should bring such joy to our hearts. It is, indeed, a very encouraging thought!

"When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun." ~ Amazing Grace

Don't you just feel so much happier now?

To My Readers, with Love

So to any of you who are curious as to how the weather fairs on the current course of my life, I would have to say "most excellent!" I usually would find something to complain about, but really...in all honesty, I can say I am pretty well contented. (goodness, how often can you say that? I know I've never been able to say it before!) But life is good. Not too busy, not too slow. Not too lonely, not too overrun with people. I have just enough money for bills and just enough to splurge on a weekend movie here or there. I have joy in the mornings and rest in the evenings. You would think my life were suddenly perfect, no? Well, as much as I wish it were, it is not. But...in happy honesty, it isn't too far from being perfect either!

Yes, that is a random stove in the middle the parking lot.

Some moments I just become ridiculously overwhelmed by things that I love. For instance: "Goodness! Isn't coffee amazing?" Or "look how lovely is the silvery gray skies, just before the sun wakes up and stretches her golden arms over the world." Or "the occasional random thing that is so out of the ordinary that it cannot help but completely tickle my heart!"
I know some people who seem to have an unending energy for love and cheer. I envy them. I love too, very deeply  in fact. But such spirited optimism seems to drain me when filtered through stressful work days or fatigued spirits. Something to work toward, I guess!

Who could resist that lovely little face?

My life isn't perfect, but it is as perfect as it can be right now. I would very much rather have a new job, so I wouldn't be stressed and tired so often.But last week we served some very sweet souls from the Special Olympics and that reminded me how happy and blessed my life is.

I miss my mommy and little cousins. But I get to talk to my mom nearly everyday and occasionally I get these little gems of a picture sent to me! I do wish some days that I were married and getting going on all those life dreams, but I have never been more satisfied with singleness and even life itself than I have been these passed months.


For the most part, I am very happy. Writing makes me happy, learning about God makes me happy, and all you dear readers out there who take the time to read my silly blog makes me very happy, indeed! Those of you who read what I say, especially those of you who frequently visit my little world, it tells me something wonderful about you. I write about God, about making life more beautiful, and about trying to become the best kind of Christian possible. And if you are reading what I write, then it makes me realize that you, dear readers, care about these things too! And that is a very happy and encouraging gift to me.

So thank you dear readers! You encourage me beyond words! I love each and every one of you!

Thoughts On Being Single

"I was quite shocked!"

It happened upon a rather distracted moment within my mind, when a sudden beastly thought of utter horridity hit me. As beastly thoughts often do hit you when you least expect them to, I was quite shocked by the flagrant audacity of such a thought that I cried in all my vexation: "Why! Beastly thought, how dare you enter my brain! Be gone, I say!"

But it was a nasty, slimy, little thought, quite stubborn and quite unyielding. It slinked and slithered around the more poorly patrolled borders of my head and eventually, quite unnoticed by my defenses, wormed its way inside.It then whispered to me:

"What if there are no gentlemen left in this world?"

Goodness! I couldn't get the worry out of my head. I mean... what if it were true? What if the moral quintessence of our society has deteriorated so greatly that there are no such things as decent men anymore? What if they are all naughty or perverted or unfaithful or unemotional or shallow or players or other horrid things... I became suddenly depressed thinking on such things. I thought about all the boys I have liked in the past, how dismally it had ended, either for me or for them. What if it were true? What if I had outlived the Era of the Gentleman? But then, thankfully, God drew me out of my silly thoughts and I reminded myself that I was a rather dramatic, overemotional lady.
 

Even the past boys that I have liked have showed a trait or two of characteristics which I would prize in a husband. One boy I use to like taught me how to share deep, intellectual conversations and witty banter. Another boy I use to like taught me how to love myself and to be brave enough to stand up for who I am. One showed me all the things I did not like about myself, yet challenged me to grow. One taught me how to act silly and stupid and how to have fun. Another one still, taught me the power of optimism, and the strength of joy and silliness. But each boy on their own would never have fit me quite right. Yet, God has brought into my path a myriad of boys who have helped, in an odd, weird way, to give me to hope again in the race of man. And one day if I could find a boy who had all of these traits that I loved, then that would be a man to whom I'd actually want to give my heart away!

Right now, I feel incredibly blessed to be single. And really, I am not single at all! I belong to God and there is no boyfriend, husband, or man on earth who could fill up my heart as fully and completely as he does. Personally, as crazy and rebelliously against our dating obsessed society as this sounds, I have no desire to date right now. I have no desire to give away anymore of my precious time to these "almost" boys. And I would hate to be an "almost" girl to any one of them! Right now, I feel like God is filling up all the emptiness in my heart and teaching me to treasure where I am at this moment in time. And to be completely truthful, I'd rather be single my entire life than to  give up this joy and treasure of God's presence in my heart. 

I know there are nice boys out there. I know, somewhere and if it is in the Lord's plan, a good hearted gentleman waits for me. And ladies, you must remember, just because they are getting harder to find, doesn't mean they don't exist. Trust your match making to the Lord. And believe in the good things to come! And above all, view being single as a blessing and an opportunity to fully focus on and serve our loving Father!

<3

The Wrong Prince, at the Wrong Time, Doesn’t Make a Right Fairytale.

Why do we ache so longingly and so impatiently after what we shouldn’t? It’s like lying in bed, weeping away the dismal hours of despair because you didn’t get a chance to stub your toe on the living room couch. Or, it is like selling all the treasures that you own so you can buy a chewed up piece of gum that has been stuck under a chair for three years. Ridiculous, no?

This paradoxical phenomenon happens, for example, when you like a person you know is wrong for you…or eat a box of cookies when you are dieting…or put yourself in the way of temptation, thinking that you won’t be tempted…or fill your schedule up beyond the limits of any mere mortal, (all these which I am guilty of!) Why do we act so contrary to good sense? Maybe I am the only one. I stay up late when I know I have to get up early. I don’t read my Bible when I know it will make me feel better. I like boys who usually need rescuing, which for the typical DID (Damsel In Distress) doesn’t make for a pretty story when you have to go drag the silly, confused knight from the clutches of a dragon. It almost makes me want to leave him for the dragon to rough up so he might grow and learn a thing or two about life.

I guess sometimes even we Princesses need to be roughed up by a dragon or two so we understand the importance of good sense and patience. Metaphorically speaking, the wrong prince at the wrong time won’t magically transform into a beautiful story. Also, the right prince at the wrong time will not make a right story!  If we go chasing around all these ill-timed dreams it will eventually bode ill for our life journey. Some days, (okay most days) I get very impatient. All I want in this life is to be a mother, a wife, a creator of beautiful things—why can’t I have this now? How long must I wait? Why is God taking so long? Can I help nudge him along?

If I am thinking things like this, I am obviously not letting the peace and trust of God dwell within my heart. And after all, why would we ever expect our fair and loving King to give us the right gifts, at the wrong time? I must remind you, and me, that he does everything in his perfect time. Just as you wouldn’t give a baby the reins to a horse, our King wouldn’t give us a blessing we weren’t ready for!

I don’t know why we chase after things that are bad for us… I can only chalk it all up to us just being dumb, little humans. If you can explain it better or more eloquently to me, please do! But for now, take comfort in knowing that God has good and perfect things in store for you. It isn’t up to us to try and figure them out or even try to push them toward fruition… In the end, you wouldn’t have wanted to end up with the wrong prince, right? Of course not!! You would have wanted God to keep you safe until you were mature and wise enough to accept the blessing of the right gift at the right time.

<3

The Dark Side of Facebook

Can you imagine living back in the days where people communicated with each other by letter writing? Can you imagine instead of whipping out your phone and in a blinding thumb flurry sending a message to your bff that you want to go to the mall, having to sit down at a desk, pull out a sheet of parchment and manually pen your thoughts? And to vex the modern soul further, can you imagine having to wait days, or even weeks for a reply? The whole idea is quite foreign to many of us, I am sure.  

While I for one am personally glad that texting, telephones, and email does exist (especially when you loose your sibling in Wal-Mart) I have to admit, I am still dubious about the whole Facebook idea. I don’t really think it is a good idea. “But Jennie!” you say, “you have a Facebook! Aren’t you being a little hypocritical?” No, I don’t think so. I think Facebook is okay if it is used moderately, and used in a Christian manner. I myself am far from perfect, but it just seems to me that young people tend to forget that so many people can view what they do, what they say, and what pictures or videos they post. I know I have lost a great deal of respect for some young ladies (and young men…and even adults!) who misbehave on Facebook. I see siblings calling each other names, I see children disrespecting their parents, I see broken up couples talk maliciously about their ex, I see Christians use language they have no business using...or most of all, I see people using Facebook as a dumping site for complaining. They complain about their work, about their coworkers, about life, about the weather, or just how they are so mad/unhappy/sad/irritated at all the world, etc. 

Ladies! Do you realize how discouraging it is to your friends as they open up Facebook and see endless statuses about how everyone is so miserable? It seems if you really want to get to know someone, look them up on Facebook. I am sad to say many people have lost their Christianity on Facebook… it makes me wonder if they ever had it to begin with!  

I think we should use Facebook to encourage other people with happy posts, encouraging statuses, and very little complaining about life. Wouldn’t it be great to live in a world where instead of being reminded of how awful everything is, we are reminded of its beauty? Or instead of squabbling in useless debates and argumentative pointless quarrels, what if we reminded each other of how great our God is? And wouldn’t it be so comforting to know that we are surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ, and not people who are self-centeredly thinking only about posting their hour-by-hour agenda? 

Again, I say, I am far from perfect and probably have behaved before quite ridiculous on Facebook. But now, I try to view it differently. I view it as a great tool for either good or bad. Remember, what you say can be seen by everyone. If you realized just how many people read your words, looked through your pictures, and watched your videos perhaps you might change what you said! I believe Facebook doesn't have to be evil. It can be very good and very powerful if we decide to use it for glorifying God, not promoting ourselves!

<3

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Eph 4:29

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Tim 4:12