The Lamentable Tale of the Pepper

 I suppose it might be lamentable...if the story had indeed ended at the lamentable part. But this story, though its beginning is rather tragic, it has a very pleasant and triumphantly joyous ending. I beg you to listen, dear reader, for if you are as tender hearted as I believe you are, I know you shall never again look at sweet, little pepper shakers quite the same way again after hearing my tale. 

I know these aren’t the sort of things well mannered people should brag about, nor should a lady, who seeks to do charitable work ever draw attention to the fact. However, I must disregard all propriety and tell of the wonderful thing that I did this morning. I was at work, ever bored out of my brain, for we have very few students come for breakfast. So meandering around the lobby praying that I might find a crumb to clean up or a napkin case that might explode and have the pleasurable occupation of cleaning it up, I stopped for a moment to stare at the lobby tables. Upon my word! It struck me with great profundity—Appalled by what I saw I stood there a moment to take in the sheer magnitude of this tragedy, this crime against all that was good, this heinous horrendous heartbreak of humanity!

I counted 17 peppershakers who did not have a saltmate.

My soul was vexed deeply. Salt is always harder to come by than pepper. Because everyone likes salt better and therefore their company is more in demand. Salt makes food taste good. Pepper just makes you sneeze. But of course it isn’t the pepper’s fault. That is how God made him. I am sure, though, in some cultures pepper is revered, pepper is loved, and pepper never wants of love. But in this culture, in this place where I work, pepper isn’t treated very decently. I realize all too clearly now how often I have seen a sad, lone pepper upon the table. Nobody cares about the pepper. Nobody even realizes that he cries by himself, wondering what is so ugly and so fowl about him that he should be cursed with this isolation?

And it struck me: why should he be lonely because he was dealt a fowl card by society?

That moment right there I resolved to save the pepper. I rounded up my things and traversed to the far ends of the world. I searched out in these strange and remote places (on the other side of the cafeteria) for salt who too seemed alone and missing the other half of their hearts. And I found them! With a joy and rapturous delirium, a level of ecstasy that only visits the severely sleep deprived or the painfully bored, I soared back to the lobby, my arms filled with 17 salt shakers. Could one describe the happy pleasure my heart felt as I united each sad pepper shaker with a new friend, their heart’s duet—such a phenomenal feeling it is to bring joy to other’s lives!

After all the matches had been made and I returned to my station by the door, I watched in contented quietude as the pepper and salt shakers chatted merrily along the tables. I wondered what they might be talking about, I couldn’t tell for sure for I don’t speak spice language. As the morning wore on, my thoughts became distracted. If only I could bring the same happiness to people of my own race. If only I could match make their own lives and bring them their soul mates. Of course, I banished the thought immediately, for I am no Emma and as I cannot even find my own pepper mate, it gives me little hope to help others find theirs. But then I realized, in my world I am the lonely pepper shaker. I am the one who sits alone and wonders what is wrong with me, why there are no salt shakers to love? Yet, the problem wasn’t with the pepper… they were perfectly fine. The problem was that it simply wasn’t time for the right match to come along. For as you know, there were plenty of lonely salt shakers on the other side of the world, they just had to wait for the Matchmaker to bring them together!

As I clocked out today, thinking about love, joy, and the amazing world of spices, I realized that I have a far more powerful Matchmaker who is looking out for me. He sees me when I feel lonely, and when I cry, and when I hurt. He hurts with me. If He were to tell me anything, I know He would tell me that just because I might make people sneeze or feel like I am no good in someway—that isn’t true and that isn’t the reason why I am alone. The reason I am alone is because He wants me to learn how to love Him, how to fall into His arms, how to be totally satisfied with Him. Then, life doesn’t seem so lonely anymore. In fact, life seems more beautiful and lovelier than ever before! I believe that no matter what happens, I know with Him I will be content and happy. And then maybe someday, when it is time, just the right time, my Matchmaker will travel to the ends of the earth and bring me back the gift of my own saltmate…and he shall love me for me, sneezes and all.

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