The Art of Imperfection

As usual, I have crossed the finish line of the week and soaring onto plains of ecstasy that usually enrapture my spirit Friday afternoon around 3 o’clock, I become very happy. But then, as usual, after that dreamlike flight upon the heavenly boughs of weekend freedom, my joyful stupor is cleared away by the coming of Saturday afternoon... in which I sit staring dully out the window, chewing over that all too familiar question:

“Jennie, what are you doing with your life?”

How can life be as perfect as possible? How can I enjoy my weekend to the absolute fullest? Am I doing everything right?

The general state within my head is a box full of unsorted emotions, a to-do list of dreams, and, most prominently, a vague feeling of being not quite satisfied in life. It is as if some object hangs within a phantom sphere, just waiting for me to figure out what it is. It is the elusive promise that whispers to me, "If you can just figure out this mysterious elixir of life you will be completely satisfied forever."  This mystical knowledge though, eludes me. I thought it might be found at Wal-mart, I thought it might be found in a book, in a paragraph of proses, in the vacuum cleaner or at my beading table. I thought if I learned how to be better, I would feel better. But actually...I usually feel worse. There must be some cliched secret of happiness that just hasn’t clicked yet.

You know, in college you are supposed to figure out your future and what you want to do with your life. But somehow I missed that important class. And it caused me so much agony, the not knowing, that I really hated me on the inside. But I think that is just the catch, isn’t it? Before you can learn how to live well in the world, you need to learn how to live well inside yourself. It seems the daily torment of the perfectionist is trying so hard to do everything right, that you end up doing everything wrong! It's paralyzing.

Life is about making mistakes! Life is about changing your mind. Life is about being strong enough to say you are weak and honest enough to admit you don’t have a clue. I mean, how else will you learn the difference between what you think is best and what really is best? I feel so envious of people who can actually make a good, old fashioned mistake—admit it, learn from it, and move on without pining over it or analyzing it for years.

So what sort of treatment is there for people who are plagued by perfection? For in all actuality, the noble charge of a perfectionist is the the endless quest for the unachievable. And that can be rather maddening.

All I can come up with this saturday is the long, lost words of an old English teacher: 

"Forget about being perfect. You'll avoid having ulcers and you will live longer."

So here's to today: To not being perfect. To not having it all figured out. To writing a not so perfect blog entry. To having bad grammer, to having mispelled words, about not knowing everything, not having a list, not having a goal.... Not having a single clue.

Today will be about listening to Christmas songs too early. Blowing bubbles in my strawberry milk. Making a mess. Singing off key. Having coffee after my bedtime. Saying something stupid and not caring. Letting my drawers stay unorganized. Today will be about looking boldly at the clock without guilt that I am wasting a perfectly good day of freedom. 

Today I will not figure out my life. Today I will practice the art of imperfection. <3

 

The older I get the more I realize there is no need to rush. No rush to get married, no rush to accomplish everything, no rush to find that mystical ‘happily ever after.’ Because all that really matters in life is God and doing His work. And nothing about His labor makes you feel lonely or impatient or unsatisfied. It is beautifully perfect. ♥

Nonsense Found Upon a Scrap of Paper in my Pocket

Usually if she had nothing to say she would write about it. When her mental energy was feeling—how shall I put it—disinclined to be creatively accommodating, she would write a short, burp-like thought of quirky nonsense.

It would be simple, cute, and to the point, but most times it would be enough to satisfy her writing hunger and leave her feeling accomplished.

But as you can easily see, her situation is extremely acute today as it is she is writing about how she writes about nothing when she has nothing to say.

This is most serious nonsense, indeed.

Do What You are Afraid To Do

A new chapter begins in many people's lives this week. At close of which, I find my usual philosophic verbiage threatening to choke me if I do not release a few quick thoughts. First of all, I cannot feel too grateful of the chance I have to be here. This really is a beautiful place; a sort of cocoon of safety I feel it is.

For the past few weeks a single phrase has been running through my mind. Mystically as it entered, even more mystically it has somehow become ingrained as a fixed, immovable epitaph carved into my character:

Do what you are afraid to do.

My resilience this week has been nothing short of mind-blowing. For a melodramatic, worryaholic I cannot believe how I have been able to not only survive the week—but nay! I have smiled and laughed and sailed through it with joy! There are so many beautiful people in my life! I have enjoyed so many parts of it that there really is no excuse for a long, dreary monologue of my dark misfortunes or tragic deprivations of a peaceful heart. (Mostly because there is a deprivation of deprivations, if that makes any sense!)
 
Simply the fact remains: the formidable blow for which I had been waiting has not struck. The axe has not fallen, the heart has not cracked under pressure, and the mind has not discovered any empty pockets of longing nor whipped together the lethal mixture of self-pity and ingratitude.

Upon the threshold of this new chapter of my life, there were a few, prodigiously marked fears that stormed the tranquility of my mind. One fear I discovered was not a fear at all. Though it has drained quite a bit of my energy it has been hemmed with love, pleasure, laughter, and a very unexpected feeling of familiarity and comfort. The other fear has, again, turned out to be not a fear at all! But a reason to rejoice! A victory! A feeling of beautiful escape and freedom. And, I might add with a sly little smile, the enchantments have worn so quickly away that the whole of it looks extremely ridiculous to me now. I would not wish it back for the world!

I venture a guess at what magically transformed all this dread into happy butterflies and contented smiles. I can say—without a doubt—that God must be the master behind the scene. He must be the author of this little story of my life. He must have sprinkled magical dust on my silly, dramatic heart and calmed it as only divine intervention can do.

My advice to the world today is this: Do what you are afraid to do.

If you think about it logically, if you do so often what strikes fear in your heart, after a while, you won’t be afraid any longer. Then you shall be powerful and strong and—dare I say—incredibly well-equipped to fight the harder foes of this world!

And really, most of the time, the fear of something is much greater than the object itself. It reminds me of the verse:

“I, yes I, am the one who comforts you.

So why are you afraid of mere humans,

who wither like the grass and disappear?

Yet you have forgotten the Lord, your Creator,

the one who stretched out the sky like a canopy

and laid the foundations of the earth.

Will you remain in constant dread of human oppressors?

Will you continue to fear the anger of your enemies?

Where is their fury and anger now?

It is gone!” Is. 51:12-13

Why Life is Awesome #6

Is it really possible to be this happy? What an incredible week!!

For so long I had so much fear about things in my life and in the twinkling of a beautiful brave moment they vanished entirely.

Oh goodness how can a person feel so much happiness and not explode? God has been so good to me in such indescribable ways...I lead a humble, quiet sort of life--but I feel richer than a king today. I feel like a ridiculous girl in love! Or a child at Christmas! I am so happy!

 Whoever knew the heart could feel such joy?

Oh what a glorious day! I dare say nothing will give me a frown!

My Rebellious Suitcase

My suitcase upon my bed looks as if it has quite exploded.

I know the usual pattern of travel consists of a rather opposite effect, but as my suitcase has always been rebellious and quite determined to do things in the most ridiculous manner possible, it has simply refused to be neatly packed until it finds the perfect moment to do so. That being said, I shall venture to declare, mystically, that I don't think there will ever be a perfect time for that suit case to be packed. It is very happy to be unpacked. All my treasures--my purple zebra shirt, my bags of bead purchases, a very old edition of A Tale of Two Cities--all these lovely things really do not want to return to Arkansas. They like it very much here.

And as obstinate and high-minded as I most days decide to be, it would be barbaric and downright sinful to be so callous toward the feelings of my suitcase.

However, as I am a logical and rational sort of person nearly half a day during a blue moon, I will see that a paramount problem lay before me. The suitcase must go back to Arkansas. It must face the tasks and responsibilities which have been put upon it. It must guard my under the bed. (For such a place being so dark and dusty, I would probably have a fit of terror each night if it wasn't for my suitcase protecting me.

So I shall try to convince my suitcase, that in returning and being honorable and brave, it will be worthy of such high esteem and phenomenal respect which most suitcases only dream of achieving.

I too shall try to console myself. Because after I patiently care for my suitcase and wait for a happy mood to come to him, I will be left alone with my own anxiety about returning. The more I leave, the more I realize how much I want to just come home. I am not ready to face the long nights, the flutters in my chest of exhaustion, the endless mood storms of people, the demanding students, the floor that is never clean enough, the food that is never good enough...

I sigh just thinking about it.

But, apprehension of a fear is usually never as fearful as the actual thing itself. As soon as I get past the first few days, I know I shall be fine. I shall even be comfortable and happy, enjoying my free hours to read or write or make jewelry and drink coffee. It couldn't be a happier situation.

So I shall not worry my suitcase about such things. He has enough on his mind. Don't tell him I told you, but he is extremely nervous about going through the baggage check. He did beautifully last time, but did complain that his left wheel almost got ripped off in the conveyor belt...

He is also rather concerned that he will be sent to Ohio on accident. I simply smile and tell him it will all work out okay.

Oh the silly, silly things we worry about... =)

Finding Contentment In All Things....

Mingled within the cool of the night breeze, my soul was captivated by the delicious smell of pine and burning wood. It was a sweet night; humble, soft, little stars peppered the deep blue skies. My every sense was overwhelmed. The air was magical; with every deep drink I drew in I became more inspired to be alive. It was an enlightening moment and I knew that I was on the brink of learning a very important sort of lesson.

I have felt distress lately about not knowing where to live. In a very short while I might be making a more permanent place of my home. I always felt that if I came back to my home state, I would be lonely, never get married, never be happy, or half a million other dark fears.

But this trip has changed all that. I realize how much I miss just being home. I miss the fresh air. I miss the people. I miss being surrounded by lakes and rolling hills and beautiful forests. When I am home I enjoy clarity of mind and the feeling of safety. And for all my doubts about Michigan, my perspective has magically been rejuvenated.

And as for the fears of never getting married or finding someone, it's beginning to dawn on me that when the time is right God will make it happen! All the people who have impacted the greatest change on my life have been introduced to me in some mysterious, sort of unavoidable way. I know this to be true because I actually tried to avoid one of these people, but he persisted until he got my number. But who would have known that little incident would have inevitably lead to me deciding to go to college down south? And how I was so incredibly blessed with that decision!


Crazy, how one thing leads to another, eh?

So I have determined within myself that I shall not worry about getting married. Until I find that someone who I feel crazy about...someone who I feel is my equal, a best friend I can admit into the thoughts of my heart, why worry about anyone else? I've never felt that way about a person and really, it only needs to happen once, right? Such a man will be quite obvious to me, I think. Now is the time to grow and work on my own heart and prepare myself to be who I am going to be for the rest of my life.

And I feel quite happy about this.

It is a very relieving thought when you decide to fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely. I suppose I am not extremely lonely, more anxious to get my life settled than actual loneliness. Sometimes, I get the hint that the little aches inside my heart has nothing to do with finding earthly love. Sometimes, I believe it is simply the aches of this life, the longing to be with God, longing to have a stronger faith, the longing to know him, and the realization that this world is not my home; these make up the most painful stings inside my chest. And these feelings will never be fully done away with until I get to go to my true home with God.


And with this too, I feel quite reconciled.

I have learned a good deal how to be patient. There is no hurry in life when you know God is directing you. If God does not change your surroundings, pray that he will change your attitude. With all the little worries about life, the wondering where you will live or what you will do with yourself, we must always remember--our true home is not here! One day we'll understand. One day all those little aches will be gone.

And until that day, I will be joyful and still; at peace and overwhelmingly blessed. God gave me beautiful pine trees, warm sunlight, coffee in the quiet morning, and lots of people to love and help--how could I ever be unhappy?

=)

"I know this, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

^"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:11-13

^"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph 3:20-21

Happiness!

Some moments, many moments lately,  I have bursts of overpowering joy. I feel so incredibly blessed by God. At times I just let myself fall completely in wonder of his presence. Something I have learned: Through all the trials of this life one thing is for sure, God never leaves us! And he has a special, beautiful plan for each of us. Lately, I have felt God's overwhelming presence and guidance in my life. And I began to feel this way as soon as I stopped trying to figure out how. As soon as I let go and began to believe in the impossible, did I find that it had all become possible! I feel freedom from pains that kept me chained up for so long. I feel joy in knowing the simple truth of God, his steady love, and the assurance that it only takes faith to make the impossible, possible.

 God created so many wonderful, happy things! Life can be so amazing if we chose to view it as such.

<3

Why Life is Awesome #5

Why Michigan is ten million times better than Arkansas...

We have been home for a week and a half now and I must say: its been absolutely amazing. After such a hot, stupidly hot, summer this place is a drink of cool water. 

I've gotten new glasses so now I can see. I have gotten my teeth fixed so now the terror of my summer is over. I have restocked my bead supplies, played on the monkey bars, fallen in love again with my beautiful, quiet, amazingly handsome eye doctor, sold another piece of jewelry, and have eaten lots of pie. I have had an amazing time with my mom and sister--and it always seems after that initial "I can't live here!" clash of wills, attitude subsides I seem to actually feel rather happy here. 

I use to think I'd stay in Searcy longer...but I am beginning to change my mind. I am tired of it. I am tired of the fake sincerity I find down south. I am tired of the road systems, the lack of craft stores, the bugs the size of Texas...

I miss all the beautiful Great Lakes, the rugged landscapes, the cool breezes... I miss being around my family. I miss being so close to civilization. I miss my little cousins. 

I love my insane family...

Funny, I never thought I'd actually want to return here. But that summer in Searcy changed me. Home has been a changing thing over the years. We've drifted as nomads, never feeling settled, never feeling at home. But I am ready for that to change. I want to be home, wherever that might be. In one place. No more moving around. No more devastating problems. No more unhappiness. No more being divided. For the first time in nearly four years, I am ready to go home!

Michigan isn't nearly as sad and depressing as I remember it...in fact it has been absolutely delightful and refreshing! It makes me wonder if such a thing is simply a matter of perspective...in that case, one might be happy anywhere in the world if only they decide it to be that way!

The Doldrums of Summer: When Life Seems to Be Going No Where

Haven't really had much to say lately. This picture pretty much sums up how I've been feeling for the past few weeks.

I feel as though I am hibernating!

Perhaps next week when I go home, I will be shaken out of these drugged summertime doldrums.Part of me gets a little depressed by this lackadaisical writer's block. Writing is so much a part of me, that when I can't express I feel that a vivid color or two has drained from the portrait of my personality.

I suppose we all feel this way about things...life gets you too busy and you can't find time to enjoy things in the deep and satisfying ways of Old... or perhaps you are just too tired after a long day of work...or simply, maybe you've entered into a different era of your life and new hobbies or tasks occupy your time. Whatever the case, I understand this can all give birth to that all too familiar discontented sigh.

In times like these, you need to just sit back, relax, and count your blessings. Pray that God will open your eyes to what he has done for you, for what he has created for your pleasure, and, perhaps, All the potentially distressing things he has chosen to protect you from...

I think we find God in simple, humble things. Such as the soft morning light of a new day... or the silence of the first fall of snow... or the gentle breeze that seems to answer a question within your heart. I find God in the roaring, wild, power of the ocean. I find God's intricacy in the vastness of the universe, in complexity of an eye, in the creative myriad of sea creatures.

When I get down or depressed or (like lately) simply lackluster-ish, I always try to thank God for all the beautiful things he has created. He makes the sun rise, he gives us breath, he teaches us lessons in his magnificent creation,  he makes us be still and quiet, he makes us passionate and courageous... he gives us mercy and hope and joy and salvation... I fall pray too often to the spirit of ingratitude, of distraction, and faithlessness. But all days won't be like that...
 

Life has up's and down's, sleepy days and busy days, stormy nights and refreshing mornings. But our joy is that no matter what, God remains faithful, constant, steady, and always there for us. And take heart that no matter where you are in life, no matter how confusing or challenging or busy or exhausting life is, God is there. God is listening. God has a definite plan for your life. And when it seems you are going nowhere, remember that God's thoughts, ways, and plans are bigger than ours. Have faith!

Times of doldrums always end. You can count on that.

<3

Random Thoughts This Morning...

Check out my Esty store!

I love making jewelry. I have never really kept up with a hobby for this long before...this will be my third summer making jewelry! I even made a sale the other day. Now if I could only motivate myself out of artistic funks and keep on, keeping on then who knows: I might sell another one!

They say to examine what you did as a child or what you wanted to be when you were a child and that this will give you great insight as to what you should do as an adult. As a child I was always trying to sell things (I was a shampoo saleswoman once. That was so unimaginably fun) And I also wanted to write. I remember once stapling together like twenty "books" I had written, setting them up around the living room, grabbing my red little cash register and opening my bookstore. My dad came in and in his usual cheapness bought the whole lot for two dollars. I was probably six or five at the time, but even then I sniffed disdainfully at the menial commission for the work of my creation.

I was sweeping the other day and a fit of condescension alighted upon me. Whatever was the meaning of having a job where I have to sweep? Why am I working at this place when I could quite literally do anything else that I wanted? I suppose it is easier said than done. I actually got another job this summer, but decided not to take it. It would have been quiet, enjoyably busy, and far away from the noise and chaos and faces that I'd find in the Caf.... but for many reasons it didn't feel right.

Do you ever push yourself to the limits just to see how far you can go? I probably do that everyday. I don't like my job at all. I get wickedly stressed out almost every time I go there...and everyday I pray that God will help me learn how not to be stressed. And I admit, the longer I keep at it, the better it gets...slowly, of course.

Things always do get better in time. But it usually takes a long time. When the horrible thing happened this past semester and I knew I was in for a time of sadness/crying myself to sleep/eating too much chocolate I wanted to get through it quickly and move on. But as with maturity, healing takes time. You can't rush yourself. It is just now, nearly four months later, that I can honestly say that that entire experience is starting to fade from my mind. I've worked hard to forget it ever happened and now I am beginning to truly see it as it was, let go, and move on.

And it feels incredible. I am not yet the kind of person who can ever look fondly back upon a person or experience that has hurt me. Not to say I am unforgiving, for I am, but I have no emotional tolerance (or maybe call it strength) to reunite myself with objects of hurt. The hurt just feels too deeply, too overwhelming, and too painful. For example, I have forgiven my father for everything, but I never want to see him again. It is the same with every person whose hurt me. Is that wrong? Why must we accept people into our lives who cause us pain? I seriously don't think God means for this to happen.

This has been the theme of my summer: Enough is enough! I am tired of being hurt by people. And if you don't stand up for yourself then they will keep on doing it! People will drag you down into the unhappy, miserable place where they themselves live. And, if you think about it, sometimes walking away and finding true joy and happiness teaches a person more profoundly than if you wallowed in the mud with them trying fruitlessly to "save them."

Sigh. This has been a jumbled up post. It really has no cohesion at all.Alas, I do believe all my creative prowess has been spent on my jewelry making.

Exodus 14:13-14
"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Hebrews 12:1
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Fourth of July

Fourth of July 2011 was awesome. Heber Springs. Lots of Friends. Patriotic Music. Amazing camera. Awesomeness.

Yes, so we all watched the fireworks in the back of a pick up truck.

It was quite awesome, if I do say so myself. The other day I swore I said "Tahr" instead of "Tire." And I have gotten into a horrible habit of saying "Lah'k instead of "Like." I think I am turning into a southerner. And the worst part? I lah'k it.
 

I am starting to make jewelry again! I am so excited to get out of my "bead block" slump. I say, if Searcy had a Hobby Lobby...or I had a vehicle to get to one, I think I could be happy to stay here in Searcy for a while!

I randomly found these sticks on the ground, lying naturally this way. God is all around us! We need only to take the time to see Him.

Can anyone say random?

I love my life. I love the people in my life. I never want this summer to end!

Discovering God's Gifts for Us

Doesn’t this little church look so quaint? My spirit longs for the simple things. A quiet, sun drenched morning, a song of the robin’s jubilee… that solemn, reverent moment as you watch the sun melt into the waters of the ocean. If you think about it, and if you are the sort of person to appreciate such things, we can find more than enough joy and beauty simply with things God has given us. And if you embrace what treasures God really gives us, you will realize it far outweighs the second rate, artificial, empty satisfaction we get ourselves by our own hands. 

When we do God’s will he gives us his spirit…his spirit to love, his spirit of unexplainable peace, his spirit of unending joy—the resolution to be strong and powerful, the quietude to be wise and still, the grace to forgive others, the heart of generosity, and the purity to see him everywhere. 

I understand that for some these gifts are harder to obtain. It took me nearly 25 years to find them. But now that I have touched the outskirts of his great and vast array of treasures, I can very easily say that life can be ten millions times more happy, more enjoyable; filled with more deep laughs, filled with more starry-eyes, filled with more contented sighs.

I promise you. 

If you don’t feel this way, I would strongly suggest drawing closer to God. Read his word, pray more often, remove unnecessary clutter from your life, get rid of peace-draining people and activities, slow down, do not try too hard, and always, always have faith. Finding the gifts of God isn’t something you obtain with hard work, lots of scripture reading, and dutiful prayers. It is given to you, through grace, by God. It is exactly what it is: a gift.

Hang in there when dark days seem unending. It will get better. The sun will rise again. How do I know? It has always gotten better for me. I went through the pain of realizing my estranged 
father might not make it to heaven. But God helped me through. I struggled through the confusion of not knowing what to do with my life. But God gave me direction. I had my heartbroken in the most painful way this past spring. But God is continually helping me to heal each day. And I am fully confident that he carries us through our hurts and aches of this life. He may not give us what we want, but he always gives us what is right. Of course, I did not want to go through the emotional agony of being rejected last spring, but I feel wiser, stronger, and so much closer to God because of it. God does not want us to hurt, but, living in a fallen world, if we must walk through a valley he can use it to either teach us a lesson or help us grow closer to him. God doesn’t waste any circumstances in our lives, but rather he uses all of them for good!

So hang in there. God longs to share his perfect gifts with you. He longs for you to be happy in this life.  And I promise, it will get better!

"The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever." Is. 32:17

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30

My Goals for 2011 1/2

• Stop the self-condemnation! If God tells me I am okay, shouldn't I let myself feel good about me?
• Be more brave! Doing what you are scared to do helps us become a whole person.
• Stand up for Jennie!
• Bake something with marzipan.
• Climb Sugar Loaf
• Set up an Esty account and start selling my jewelry.
• Chill out and stop feeling guilty when I relax. It is okay not to be "doing things" every moment.
• Get a real Indian arrowhead.
• Work hard to subdue my perfectionist tendancies...
• Grow even closer to God.
• Continue to write.
• Fall in love with the plan God has for my life.
• Ride an airplane.
• Get a blue streak in my hair.
• Finish my "read the Bible in a year" plan.
• Stay away from boys!
• Face my dragons this fall.
• More to come I am sure!

<3

Happy Summer, Dear Readers!

Hello dear readers!

I wish I might talk to each and every one of you and indulge in your stories about your summer. How fairs it? Is it everything summers should be? Lazy, deep, happy, peaceful--filled with glasses of lemonade, nights where you watch the stars pop of out purple twilight, trips to the beach, movies with popcorn, secret little cap naps in the sun, carnivals and cotton candy?

I must confess, I wish my summer would never end. I had my fears about being stuck here for the whole summer but I say, it is the best summer I have had in years! It is quiet here, few people, but just enough to not make you feel isolated... my work schedule is easy, my friend group is smaller therefore I feel closer to them... My sister and I take evening walks through the campus. Such quiet tranquility! For those who are students, do you know how absolutely fresh and dreamlike the campus is without hoards of nosiy kids bursting from every possible crack in the walls?


I feel so blessed and so happy and so peaceful! I wish summer might never end! It is a healing summer...and I hope my spirit will be fully restored come fall, if it isn't already. Wasn't God so awesome when he decided to give us months of beautiful sunshine and warm whether? I hope all people out there are enjoying their summer! If you, dear readers, indeed are not enjoying your summer, change that this very day! Find your blessings and enjoy the life God has gifted to you. You already have all you need to be happy. And sometimes, I have learned, true happiness isn't found in fancy jobs, or fancy vacations, or busy schedules, or big screen t.v.'s--actually, I would say rarely it is ever found in such things! I believe happiness is found when you are quiet and still, when you breathe in deep morning air and whisper a prayer within your heart. Trust your life to God and enjoy the beauty the around you!