Do you ever have those unexplainable, ambiguous feelings that something huge has just changed in your life? And yet, you can’t quite place a finger upon what it is? Something has shifted in my life, these past few weeks. I can liken it to trying to adjust to a new pair of shoes… or it seems as though an incredible mass of unknown substance has moved through the contented corridors of my subconscious. I feel vividly, strongly, and stridently that a foreign entity permeates my own being. I feel most harshly the aftershocks of my new spirit to “let go.” And even worse, I cannot yet tell whether this new outfit of perception is friend or foe. The feeling of irrevocability shakes my fortitude and leaves my soul scrambling to adjust to the magnitude of change that has drifted upon me in such unforeseen ferocity. Do you ever have those moments in life where, upon the tempests of ill-bred fortune, you discover in mind blazing clarity that you have suddenly grown? You’ve reached that crossroads of life without even knowing how you came to get there. And what wreaked havoc before upon your limited abilities and what threw your spirit into a spiral of grief no longer offers an adequate challenge to your mind. Then spangled across the heavens you find a new constellation to behold: a new scattering of glitter upon the soft, velvety tapestry of life.
It is like in Kingdom Hearts, when you play the Tarzan boss, Clayton, for the first time. The first round you go at him, he seems utterly impossible to defeat. You die almost instantaneously. But then you go distract yourself with other challenges, like fighting in the coliseums, or looking for those pink boxes in Wonderland, and all the while you are quietly, almost unnoticeably building up your strength. Then, when you face Clayton again, you are strong enough to beat him! The happy thought that fills my brain is that, like Kingdom Hearts, after you go through countless battles and face almost impossible foes, when you revisit old worlds and face the demons which lay within, they seem a trifle to your well-worn warrior hands. When I am at the final stage of battles, lost somewhere in the mysterious nightmarish horrors of the Hollow Baston, if I must revisit Traverse City the bad guys are so easily conquered that it is stupid. Yet, when I first fought them it wasn’t like that at all.
Isn’t it amazing the lessons one might draw from video games?
My mother told me that when such a stark feeling of change settles upon you, often times that means God has moved you into a new area of your life. The next step, if you will. And though it frightens me a little to think that I must leave behind the old ways, old hopes and old comforts of a life before, it also comforts me knowing full well that if God moves me forward, it is for my own good in the end.
So welcome new change! Good or evil, mild or grand! I bid you welcome into the fair land of my life and look forward to wherever you might take me!
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