The Lamentable Tale of the Pepper

 I suppose it might be lamentable...if the story had indeed ended at the lamentable part. But this story, though its beginning is rather tragic, it has a very pleasant and triumphantly joyous ending. I beg you to listen, dear reader, for if you are as tender hearted as I believe you are, I know you shall never again look at sweet, little pepper shakers quite the same way again after hearing my tale. 

I know these aren’t the sort of things well mannered people should brag about, nor should a lady, who seeks to do charitable work ever draw attention to the fact. However, I must disregard all propriety and tell of the wonderful thing that I did this morning. I was at work, ever bored out of my brain, for we have very few students come for breakfast. So meandering around the lobby praying that I might find a crumb to clean up or a napkin case that might explode and have the pleasurable occupation of cleaning it up, I stopped for a moment to stare at the lobby tables. Upon my word! It struck me with great profundity—Appalled by what I saw I stood there a moment to take in the sheer magnitude of this tragedy, this crime against all that was good, this heinous horrendous heartbreak of humanity!

I counted 17 peppershakers who did not have a saltmate.

My soul was vexed deeply. Salt is always harder to come by than pepper. Because everyone likes salt better and therefore their company is more in demand. Salt makes food taste good. Pepper just makes you sneeze. But of course it isn’t the pepper’s fault. That is how God made him. I am sure, though, in some cultures pepper is revered, pepper is loved, and pepper never wants of love. But in this culture, in this place where I work, pepper isn’t treated very decently. I realize all too clearly now how often I have seen a sad, lone pepper upon the table. Nobody cares about the pepper. Nobody even realizes that he cries by himself, wondering what is so ugly and so fowl about him that he should be cursed with this isolation?

And it struck me: why should he be lonely because he was dealt a fowl card by society?

That moment right there I resolved to save the pepper. I rounded up my things and traversed to the far ends of the world. I searched out in these strange and remote places (on the other side of the cafeteria) for salt who too seemed alone and missing the other half of their hearts. And I found them! With a joy and rapturous delirium, a level of ecstasy that only visits the severely sleep deprived or the painfully bored, I soared back to the lobby, my arms filled with 17 salt shakers. Could one describe the happy pleasure my heart felt as I united each sad pepper shaker with a new friend, their heart’s duet—such a phenomenal feeling it is to bring joy to other’s lives!

After all the matches had been made and I returned to my station by the door, I watched in contented quietude as the pepper and salt shakers chatted merrily along the tables. I wondered what they might be talking about, I couldn’t tell for sure for I don’t speak spice language. As the morning wore on, my thoughts became distracted. If only I could bring the same happiness to people of my own race. If only I could match make their own lives and bring them their soul mates. Of course, I banished the thought immediately, for I am no Emma and as I cannot even find my own pepper mate, it gives me little hope to help others find theirs. But then I realized, in my world I am the lonely pepper shaker. I am the one who sits alone and wonders what is wrong with me, why there are no salt shakers to love? Yet, the problem wasn’t with the pepper… they were perfectly fine. The problem was that it simply wasn’t time for the right match to come along. For as you know, there were plenty of lonely salt shakers on the other side of the world, they just had to wait for the Matchmaker to bring them together!

As I clocked out today, thinking about love, joy, and the amazing world of spices, I realized that I have a far more powerful Matchmaker who is looking out for me. He sees me when I feel lonely, and when I cry, and when I hurt. He hurts with me. If He were to tell me anything, I know He would tell me that just because I might make people sneeze or feel like I am no good in someway—that isn’t true and that isn’t the reason why I am alone. The reason I am alone is because He wants me to learn how to love Him, how to fall into His arms, how to be totally satisfied with Him. Then, life doesn’t seem so lonely anymore. In fact, life seems more beautiful and lovelier than ever before! I believe that no matter what happens, I know with Him I will be content and happy. And then maybe someday, when it is time, just the right time, my Matchmaker will travel to the ends of the earth and bring me back the gift of my own saltmate…and he shall love me for me, sneezes and all.

<3

The Lost Muse

It was Shakespeare who once wrote, “Oh, for a muse of fire that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention!” If only we had divine inspiration would we discover the most perfect realm of the imagination. In many ways, I have lost my muse. It probably should not have been my muse to begin with, but what writer has the power to choose their own inspiration? Does it not choose the writer? Can nature and beauty be captured and forced into the artist’s submission? 

Can we demand by any crude or uncouth human manner the understanding of the enigmatic realms of creativity? Of course not. But where now shall I  find a new muse?  For he, as my muse, alone as my muse, only as my muse—I miss. I shall find a new inspiration… the dawn is kind to a contemplative soul and the stars nurture the hungering heart. For what was the muse of the King? What inspired His own heart as He created the sapphires seas and the soaring, snowcapped mountains? Might the Master of all Muses, be the fountain everlasting of imagination?

Scotland: The Land of Fairytales

Edinburgh

So feeling nostalgic, my thoughts drift back to when I went to Scotland on a mission trip a few years back. I have to say, out of all things I’ve done in my life, all the people I have seen, the places I have visited (not being a whole lot, mind you) going to Scotland was one of the most amazing things I have ever done. It was so beautiful there and—how shall I describe it? It was just so… different. The food tasted better, the stores sold all sorts of odd, interesting trinkets and objects, the air smelled cleaner, fresh, revitalizing, the people were so much prettier and handsomer--oh the accents! How melodic! The landscape had the power to turn the most monosyllabic mouth into a golden tongue poet. Your eyes could find the entrances to hidden stories everywhere you looked. History was alive in Scotland. I remember walking through an ancient monastery and placing my hand on the stone walls, hundreds and hundreds of years old, thinking of the hands which crafted these. It was almost inconceivable, the minds which dreamed up these parapets of stone seemed more like fanciful characters from a book rather than real men. I began to wonder what their lives were like, what thoughts distracted them from their labors as they erect this hall?  I would love to go back there someday. Maybe on a honeymoon, would that be delightful now? We saw so many beautiful places while in Scotland, in Inverness we visited Loch Ness, unfortunately we didn’t find Nessie. We walked among graveyards where people had died from the Black Plague.How ancient everything was! Fragments of history on every corner!

Elephant House where J.K.Rowling began writing Harry Potter

Me being blessed!

Robert the Bruce's castle

I sat in the seat where J.K. Rowling first started writing Harry Potter. I looked out the window and up the hill toward the Edinburgh castle in the distance… I could almost imagine Hogwarts and young little witches and wizards soaring around upon brooms. However, personally, I don’t know how she got any work done in there, it was so noisy I couldn’t imagine putting two pretty words together in such an atmosphere.

It was very chilly in Scotland though we went in May. I remember being confused because I woke up to the dawn and singing birds every morning, but the hour was only 4 a.m.! We spent one day roaming the crowded streets of Edinburgh… My friend was knighted. I was blessed… I don’t suppose ladies get to be knighted... Which was a shame because I really would have liked to have had a sword. 

In Scotland, it is allowed to share Bible songs and stories with public school children. Our chorale group travelled all over singing in elementary schools, nursing homes, and, best of all, having a vacation er, holiday Bible school for the local church. There was such a great need for the Gospel to be preached in Scotland. I wish I had had more opportunity to serve, when I think back on it. I also wish I had brought my camera charger, but that is neither here nor there.

 We went to Robert the Bruce's castle, where I stood on his grave (which was inside the church) and I looked at his bronzed skull, and we sang for a group of locals. Can any acoustics compare with the sacred and beautiful echoes of human voices within the silent, solemn walls of an ancient cathedral? Oh goodness, what a  divine sound!

  What a beautiful world! Magic was alive everywhere… an artist need not go far when wanting of inspiration. For here was the ancient land where fairytales had been born. I miss Scotland today. My world here seems rather dull and plain sometimes when I think of the natural beauty and splendor of far off lands. Oh and how scrumptiously delicious that tea was!

I Miss you, Dear God

I had terrifying dreams last night. I can’t quite understand where I was or who I was with, but I was in a house and the quiet, tension which disturbs the air before a storm was very much tangible. I can’t remember the exact plot of the dream, (if dreams indeed have plots) but I recall the house I was in suddenly turning over and over and over and over—it wouldn’t stop. I recall how greatly unnatural this was and the dizzying emotion of pandemonium filled my blood. Then in the distance, dark storm clouds swirled and ripped through the colorless, empty skies. I remember feeling above any emotion—above the sickening fear in my stomach—the panic of guilt; I had done something awful and terribly wrong. Dark, dragon shaped clouds suddenly appeared much too close to me and in my alarm I realized that they were chasing me, trying to swallow me. It was a dreadful dream. Later in this place, I concluded that it must be the end of the world. I was terrified thinking that God was soon coming, perhaps I was not ready, perhaps he was going to take me home, perhaps I wasn’t saved like I thought I was—and such fear overtook me in my dream. I had not felt such a fear since the dreams I had in the days before I was baptized. And that is when it dawns on you, the terrifying realization that when you cross the veil into eternity, you will cross it alone. All your deeds lay bare before you, all your actions exposed—there is no turning back, no negotiating. Your life will speak for itself and God will either welcome you into his arms or—I shudder at the thought—turn you away. It frightens me to think of such a place. And we forget the fragility of human life… we are but a vapor…a whisper consumed by eternity.

What heavy thoughts! What a dark dream! What an awful way to spend a night. No wonder I am so tired. 

But lately, I have not felt intimate with God. And in lately, I mean in the past four or five days. Deep inside, my love is still all there, but my fleshly spirit is tired and unable to rouse the excitement and eagerness it takes to feel close to God. With my great imagination, sometimes God seems more like a beautiful story than reality. What an awful thing to feel! I wish that he were more alive in my life, I wish he could talk with me, and walk with me in the mornings. Not being close with God hurts deeper than anything. My life only makes sense when God is my close friend. When I get busy, or comfortable, or distracted I feel like He drifts away from me. How wretched it all is. Some days, fighting to be close to him seems too exhausting and I long to simply be in heaven where I might never struggle with this human heart again. I feel like we are so easily polluted by the world, our eyes so easily cast aside.  

I dearly wish I might meet more Christians…even Christians I know sometimes don’t seem to realize how quickly this life is spent, how easily they smear their reflection of Christ, how important it is be a light to others—I grow so world weary. I feel like it takes all my strength some days to not be consumed into the temporal joys and the glided emptiness of worldly pleasures. Some days I just seriously miss God. Some days I just want to go Home. 

<3

“If I am to live in the flesh that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.” Philippians 1:22-24 

“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”  Isaiah 41:13

Um, Where Did you Go Happiness?

Like many kids now adjusting to summer, I’ve been rather off kilter for the past few days. I was so ingrained in my busy routine now that it is changed, changed so much for the better I might add, that I hardly know what to do with myself. I had dreamed of this moment all semester, the relaxed work schedule, no demanding people, no memories of the crazy past months, just lovely peace and quiet—yet, today, I feel tired and a little out of sorts. It feels as if my passions are too exhausted to light themselves aflame. What meant the world to me yesterday, seems silly and unimportant today.  I feel somewhat befuddled. As this last semester is gone, it is starting to feel more like a dream, fading with time. I now regroup. What really do I want now?

 It has struck me today, that my dreams, as much as I hope for them, will never be as beautiful in real life as they are in my head. My future husband, my future family, everything—it won’t be like I am transformed into a picturesque world of all my delights, all my precious hopes turning into golden moments of reality… no, it will be life just like it is today. This may sound rather depressing, but let me explain. In the future, I will wake up and feel tired like I feel today. Coffee grounds will leak into the pot and I will have to remake it. I will feel a twinge of loneliness and wonder if I am living my life to the fullest. Tires will always go flat. Bills will always need to be paid. Life will always be life, if we find our dreams or not. Of course, I imagine my happiness will be more settled, matured, and secure if I have a family to live for and make beautiful. That I am sure of. But even then, I will have days where I feel grouchy and un-angel like. I will have moments where I am lost in my silly world of emotional asphyxiation. 

And do you know what that means? It doesn’t mean that I should be all gloomy and depressed today. It doesn’t mean I should just throw my hands up in the air and give up all the hopes and beautiful dreams inside of me… all it means is that today, I am being tempted with feeling discontented and discouraged. Rallying within me the battle worn protectors of my soul, I need to encourage them that though today it seems hard to have the energy of hope and the illuminating sparks of optimism, I will eventually climb out of this mood and the day won’t be so shaded in sullenness. Because hope revitalizes the soul, joy restores the spring within the step. And the whole point of everything is that if we can’t figure out how to be content today we won’t be content tomorrow even if all our dreams come true.  I am beginning see this. If we can figure out how to be perfectly happy with life “as is” and to be completely satisfied in God alone— as unwritten, unknown, and lonely as it sometimes feels when we are young like this— then can you imagine how much richer and deeper our happiness will be when life settles and our dreams begin to unfold? This can be a challenging lesson, but within the achievement of it we will find the key to true happiness.  Find happiness today! There is such beauty waiting to be discovered.

Now godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.  Philippians 4:11

"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities. Luke 16:10

How to Avoid Jealousy: Love Lessons from Disney

Tinkerbell: 

"How To Avoid Jealousy"

  Okay, ladies. We all have felt it. Some of us feel it as sadness and quietly pull out that lace hanker chief to secretly dap our eyes. Others of us, merely shrug off the emotion and pretend we don’t feel the pang of rejection in the pit of our stomachs. And then for others of us still, we like the more efficient, direct route and simply try to assassinate the “other woman.” Okay so maybe Tinker Bell wasn’t using quite honorable tactics when her jealousy over Wendy drove her to murderous means. But really, who has a clear head when the boy we love has forgotten about us to go gallivant with the next, best thing?  Feeling jealous, second best, or envious are feelings that we must all endure at some point in our lives. But that doesn’t mean we have to endure it for long! If you are in a Tinker Bell situation, don’t get mad, don’t get sad—get out of there! All of us are beautiful and special in a unique way. If the boy is too blind to see that, or he wears tights (especially if he wears tights) then cut him loose and find people in your life who will make you feel wonderful. You have an extraordinary gift to offer others; you are a princess! There is no need to feel jealous to any one! Remember, boys are great, but you don’t need one in your life to be an amazing, beautiful, and yes, sometimes mischievous, young lady!

A Cup of Coffee

I have always loved coffee shops. To me, one cup of coffee represents a blissful escape from the grind of reality; a cozy moment of indulgence between me and the quiet wonderings of my mind. For some, a cup of coffee may be a chance to unwind. A rare and magical moment to fall into the pages of a book and journey into a world of adventures where courageous knights never break the 

maiden’s heart, where fierce  dragons can be conquered, where tragic tales can end happily ever after… For others, a cup of coffee may be the tonic of the morning. When standing before the long day, a cup of coffee may be the revitalizing elixir to replenish the soul and bring that reminder of hope. A hope that tells us this weary week cannot only be endured, but can be victoriously achieved.  To others, a cup of coffee may simply be a moment to connect with another heart; a few precious minutes to share with someone we love. To me, a cup of coffee can be any of these things. A moment to forget, a moment to indulge, a moment to be completely free.

Once Upon a Time~ My New Blog!

In a place where dreams are often forgotten, and the gilded splendor of fame and fortune lure away the common soul, a place not too far from where you read these words, a princess softly sighs.

Who is this princess, you ask? I am sure you know her. Perhaps she is me. Perhaps she is you. Perhaps she is inside each and every young woman. We may have only forgotten her. Did not every little girl dream of becoming a princess? A fair maiden of quiet beauty, a courageous woman of spirit, a noble heart of love, a warrior against the injustice of her people, a girl illuminating a character of honesty, purity, charity, and twinkling eyes filled with adventure—did not every little girl dream to become one of these? Or maybe all of them?

I know I did. 

Do you ever feel out of place in this world? So many are distracted from the Lord’s true calling for us Christians. We have been given a short time upon this globe— a time filled with battles against fiery dragons, against the hidden work of demons, against the devastating blows of giants, against kings who seek to tear down the Kingdom, against princes who seek to distract us from our true Father’s charge. 

I write this blog for encouragement, for fun, and for God. I wish to remind girls that as we are all princesses and serve a majestic King above we are called to be ladies, pure and Godly. Enjoy!